Have you ever had days, or even weeks, where everything seemed to go contrary to plan? As if you were a walking, talking Murphy's Law? In this week's blog, Paula shares her experience with a stressful and traumatic week, and how she found her back to peace.
I was having a stressful evening today as it seemed that Amazon had created errors in my manuscript while uploading that made every page referenced, inaccurate. When I first discovered this I was devastated, embarrassed and horribly concerned that I would be viewed in the authors community as sub-standard.
I was told by my book producer that nothing could be done until tonight so I decided to follow the urging of the UNIVERSE to just step out of my angst and do something to shift my energy.
I decided that in my current state of mind, only a movie would do.
I cruised through On Demand and found MacFarland. I can only say “DON’T MISS IT!" What a great reminder that no matter what circumstances life throws at us, we can find a way to make something beautiful out of what appears to be something devastating. This was particularly good for me to see because life has put me to the test recently.
I didn’t share this with you before because life has been quite busy with the book launch but three days before the launch, my car was vandalized, windows shattered and my purse stolen from the trunk. It was devastating. Within the span of one day, I went through all the phases of grief that I discuss in the book.
First, it was the shocking “Oh my God!” stuff, of the Root Center phase. I was reeling in anguish and kicking myself for having left my purse in the trunk.
Then I reached out for help and connected with others as we do in the Sacral Center phase. Help came in the form of supportive passersby and the police. One very handsome man in a black Tesla even drove me to a local golf course to use the bathroom! God bless that knight in shining armor.
Finally, I realized that I needed to sit and breathe and moved into self-care, the third, or Solar Plexus phase that I discuss in the book. Immersed in a roller coaster of feelings, I quickly moved to the Heart Center phase and just cried. From there I moved to the Throat Center phase and started verbally expressing my feelings. I called loved ones and cried and expressed my anger. This was particularly helpful because I was feeling my feelings and expressing my truth in the moment I was immersed in them.
After allowing myself enough of that, I was ready to take action to try to change my circumstances and do what was needed to get back into my life, Brow Center phase.
A wonderful tow truck driver named Marzoog cleaned the glass off my seat so I could drive and gave me the name of a man who would come to my house, replace the window and clean up my car.
The purse had been stolen at 9:30am. By 4:45pm I was on my way to DMV in a car that looked perfect. My cards had been cancelled and no further charges were being made on my cards. (word to the wise, keep some cash hidden in your house to pay for what you need until banking issues get straightened out, should such a thing happen to you. I also learned that you should zerox both sides of all your credit cards, so you’ll have the information you will need, should they disappear. You could probably do the same thing taking pictures with your phone.)
Here’s another great tip, when you get to the DMV close to closing time, the employees are very motivated to move you through quickly. I was in and out of there within an hour with a renewed license for 5 years! No test, no hours of waiting, just smile for the camera, pay $33.00 and done! That alone was almost worth what I went through. By 6:15pm I was on my way to my friend Debbie’s, where I would be nurtured me with food and drink for the evening.
Once there, I slid right into the final phase of grief, which involves spiritual practice and service to others. I was definitely in “Thank you God,” mode and acceptance of what had happened. I also couldn’t wait to do something nice for Debbie and to warn others not to make the mistakes that I had.
As I went to meet a friend for lunch the next day, driving legally, in a fully repaired car, the only telltale sign of what had happened, was a substitute purse with nothing in it, but cash, a temporary license, a comb and a lipstick. Interestingly enough though, I liked having my load lightened and am currently determined not to carry a big, heavy purse around anymore.
One would think that after that, I had lived through my share of bad luck, but “Noooo”… One week later, to the day, my phone was stolen! I’m not kidding you, it was! I won’t bore you with the details of one more time going through those seven phases of loss. Let me suffice it to say that losing the phone was actually more horrifying than the purse, as my connection to everyone in my life exists in my phone.
For the sake of time, I will cut to the chase and move into gratitude and service to others. I was saved because my battery had gone dead that very morning and when I recharged it, all my data had been saved to the cloud. Listen up everybody! Go into Settings and be sure that you have Back Up turned on. That way when you charge your phone all of your data will be saved to the Cloud…that is if you have an Iphone. If you don’t, find out how to back your phone up, and do that regularly, so if it should disappear, your life won’t disappear with it.
So how do I seamlessly tie this tale of woe back into the movie MacFarland? Simple, I began by talking about how distressed I was over a problem with my book. In the moment it seemed like a really big deal. Then I went into exploring what I had experienced when I had my purse and phone stolen. So it was after going through all this stress that I decided that I needed to step away from the stressors of my world and escape into a movie. By some miracle I choose a perfect one. Not only did it remind me that I came to the planet to try to help people not have to hurt so hard and so long, it also clearly illustrated for me, how little some people have and how blessed I am. In the worst of circumstances, I have so many blessings.
In MacFarland a coach gets an assignment that has all the earmarks of dying and going to hell, but through devotion and determination he turns a school and a town around, gives young men inspiration and dreams of having a better life. Through hard, consistent work everyone’s dreams are fulfilled, and the world is a better place for it. And best of all…it’s a true story. Every one of those boys he trained went on to college and many of them went back to that town to help other kids achieve their dreams.
Let’s face it, sometimes life sucks, we get dumped on, thwarted and discouraged but all of that can change in a moment with the right encouragement, experience or inspiration. What if every one of us committed to dumping victim and self-pity and just decided to be that help or inspiration to someone else? Wouldn’t that be huge? Why don’t we?
I close with one of my favorite bits of wisdom:
Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass,
It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
PAULA SHAW, CADC, DCEP is an author, Energy Psychology specialist, therapist, speaker, Reiki Master and Grief Counselor. For more than 20 years, Paula has been passionate about empowering people who are dealing with profound loss, so they can reap something truly beautiful from their pain. She also helps clients who are going through major life transitions or seeking freedom from self-destructive addictions. She has degrees in Education and Communications from Long Beach State University, as well as graduate counseling credentials from Loyola Marymount University. She is one of the founding members of the Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology and currently serves on its board of directors. Paula is the author of Chakras, the Magnificent Seven (2002), as well as the newly released Grief...When Will This Pain Ever End? Finding Your Way out of the Pit of Despair after Profound Loss, which was released June 15, 2015.
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PAULA SHAW, CADC, DCEP is an author, Energy Psychology specialist, therapist, speaker, Reiki Master and Grief Counselor. For more than 20 years, Paula has been passionate about empowering people who are dealing with profound loss, so they can reap something truly beautiful from their pain. She also helps clients who are going through major life transitions or seeking freedom from self-destructive addictions. She has degrees in Education and Communications from Long Beach State University, as well as graduate counseling credentials from Loyola Marymount University. She is one of the founding members of the Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology and currently serves on its board of directors. Paula is the author of Chakras, the Magnificent Seven (2002), as well as "Grief...When Will This Pain Ever End?" Finding Your Way out of the Pit of Despair After Profound Loss.
Former Blog Archive
Thank you for reading Paula's Blog. Because our site moved in June, we were unable to transfer all of our blog posts over. You can however, read the rest of them by visiting our old blog site. HERE