It’s spring and of course the first thing that comes to mind is CLEANING! It’s time to throw back the sashes and let in the fresh air of new growth. I have found myself really into it this year. It’s the fault of my daughter who cleaned out and organized a cupboard while I was at work one day and the delight that I felt every time I looked at that drawer, spread like the plague and became a kind of magnificent obsession. Away I went, cleaning drawers, closets and anything else that caught my now, obsessed eye.
Somewhere in a quiet moment after 10 bags of stuff had gone home with the cleaning lady, I realized that there was another area of my life that needed de-cluttering. It was my heart.
You see I had perfected being attracted to Likeable, Narcissistic Men, which offered little in the way of great treatment and feeling cherished.
Hang on, before you judge or condemn me, let’s remember that this was all happening on a subconscious level. My conscious mind was sure that I was ready for Mr. Right and couldn’t understand why I kept attracting Mr. Right Now.
Haven’t you ever asked yourself, “Why do I keep experiencing the same situations over and over again. The same guy, the same work problems, the same money issues? Why? Why? Why?
Here’s the answer. We keep creating the same problems over and over again because the subconscious mind is holding beliefs that are attracting experiences that validate those beliefs.
For example: if you are holding a belief that you have no worth or that you just aren’t good enough, or like in my case, “A man’s needs matter more than mine.” Guess what? You attract a likeable narcissist who proves you’re right. I perfected it.
We have to remember that the subconscious is literal, specific, precise, and it loves to be right. It’s also 95% of our mind functioning…so don’t feel badly if you’re in the same camp I was. If we can’t identify and release those limiting beliefs, they will run the show no matter how much your conscious mind wants something else.
Fortunately for me, I had the tools to identify and release those sabotaging beliefs. I do this with clients every day. We aren’t doomed to keep living the same Ground Hog Day existence if we get the skilled help we need. Just remember that your conscious mind doesn’t hold the answers. It’s only 5% of your mind functioning. It’s a flea compared to the elephant that is the subconscious, weighing in at 95%.
If we want real change, we need to identify and release those sabotaging beliefs. That’s how we create the reality we desire, instead of the one dictated by a misinformed elephant.
Paula Shaw is a Life Transition Coach helping people to Navigate Change and Challenge. (626) 864-0756. www.paulashaw.com
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PAULA SHAW, CADC, DCEP is an author, Energy Psychology specialist, therapist, speaker, Reiki Master and Grief Counselor. For more than 20 years, Paula has been passionate about empowering people who are dealing with profound loss, so they can reap something truly beautiful from their pain. She also helps clients who are going through major life transitions or seeking freedom from self-destructive addictions. She has degrees in Education and Communications from Long Beach State University, as well as graduate counseling credentials from Loyola Marymount University. She is one of the founding members of the Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology and currently serves on its board of directors. Paula is the author of Chakras, the Magnificent Seven (2002), as well as "Grief...When Will This Pain Ever End?" Finding Your Way out of the Pit of Despair After Profound Loss.
Former Blog Archive
Thank you for reading Paula's Blog. Because our site moved in June, we were unable to transfer all of our blog posts over. You can however, read the rest of them by visiting our old blog site. HERE