Valentine’s Day, a day that according to legend, began with a note left by a Catholic monk, named Valentinus for his child protégée, which she received after he was put to death for an erroneous violation . He had tutored this child out of love and she had grown very fond of him and benefitted greatly from his teachings. According to the story, he was unjustly incarcerated during an era of Christian persecution and on the day he was being put to death, he left her a note that was signed, Your Valentine.
Although some say that the truth of this story is murky, it is a beautiful story of love and that is what Valentine’s Day symbolizes, unending, unconditional, beautiful love. So I ask you…how much of that kind of love did you see on Valentine’s Day?
I only ask because I have heard such a wide variety of scenarios of what that day was like for people. Some experienced perfect, romantic bliss, complete with the dream get-away, while others grabbed a pizza and watched something on Netflix. I even know of some breakups that happened on this blessed day of love. (Heaven help those poor guys and gals who, even if they mend things, will be having to do some serious a... kissing for years to come to make up for that faux pas.)
Today, I return to the office and I guarantee you that for days, I will be hearing both wonderful and horrifying Valentine’s stories. My own Valentine story had all the earmarks of disaster, complete with sitting alone pining for what sometimes seems like the Holy Grail or that Impossible Dream that Don Quixote went on and on about.
But then a light dawned and I remembered that love isn’t about what someone else does; it’s about what I create, receive and project to everyone in my life. The crazy thing was that as soon as I realized this truth and relaxed into it, numerous offers came in to do lots of lovely things, including sailing around San Diego Harbor drinking Chardonnay, and a romantic get-away with a former flame.
Who woulda thought! Anyway without getting into too much detail, let me just say that as soon as I got out of victim mentality and realized that fun and pleasure could still be mine in spite of the absence of my soul mate, great offers flooded in and my Valentine’s weekend was fun and full. What a lesson! You don’t need someone outside of yourself to give you love, affection, presents etc. You just have to trust, allow, love yourself, and let it flow!
So here is my suggestion for everyone, those that had a great day and those whose day was fraught with pain, disappointment and thoughts that found themselves justifying abhorrent forms of human torture…LOVE YOURSELF.
It’s so simple, if you love yourself enough, nothing anyone does can ever really destroy your day or your life. Life is so full of possibilities and as long as you are vibrant and open and loving, the good ones will find you. I had amazing experiences on a weekend that I thought was going to suck. It can all change on a dime…it can all change on a dime, especially if you know that you hold all the coins. Much Love to you all.
P.S. When Love is the essence of your energy, everyday is Valentine’s Day.
PAULA SHAW, CADC, DCEP is a Master Life Transition Coach and Grief Specialist. She is also a Best Selling Author, Keynote Speaker and radio talk show host.
For more than 20 years, Paula has been passionate about empowering people who are dealing with profound loss, to help them reap something truly beautiful from their pain, turning that pain into possibility.
She also helps clients who are going through major life transitions or seeking freedom from self-destructive addictions. She has degrees in Education and Communications from Long Beach State University, as well as graduate counseling credentials in Grief and Addictive Disorders from Loyola Marymount University.
She is one of the founding members of the Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology and currently serves on its board of directors.
Paula is the author of Chakras, the Magnificent Seven (2002), as well as the newly released Grief...When Will This Pain Ever End? Finding Your Way out of the Pit of Despair after Profound Loss, which was released June 15, 2015.
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PAULA SHAW, CADC, DCEP is an author, Energy Psychology specialist, therapist, speaker, Reiki Master and Grief Counselor. For more than 20 years, Paula has been passionate about empowering people who are dealing with profound loss, so they can reap something truly beautiful from their pain. She also helps clients who are going through major life transitions or seeking freedom from self-destructive addictions. She has degrees in Education and Communications from Long Beach State University, as well as graduate counseling credentials from Loyola Marymount University. She is one of the founding members of the Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology and currently serves on its board of directors. Paula is the author of Chakras, the Magnificent Seven (2002), as well as "Grief...When Will This Pain Ever End?" Finding Your Way out of the Pit of Despair After Profound Loss.
Former Blog Archive
Thank you for reading Paula's Blog. Because our site moved in June, we were unable to transfer all of our blog posts over. You can however, read the rest of them by visiting our old blog site. HERE